How To Be A Better Person

 

There is a well-known concept called 'self-fulfilment'. This is were you, as an individual, are happy and satisfied because you are doing something that fully uses your abilities and talents. So is this your ultimate goal? Are you using your abilities and talents to your best advantage? Chances are that there is still some wriggle room to attaining your version of self-fulfilment and to be a better person. The most  effective and rewarding way to bridge this gap is to challenge yourself.

In this short article I want to look at how to challenge yourself to be a better person. At the same time I will address the so-called, “elephant in the room” we call self-criticism. We should always accept that we need to undergo a process of self-criticism in everything that we do. However, we also need to keep on top of it to allow us to grow, rather than stop us dead in our tracks.

The Road To A Better You Is Not Always Easy

Challenging The Status Quo

“Challenge yourself or what you are right now is the best you will ever be and never what you thought you would be.” Auliq Ice

I think we need to be absolutely clear. To challenge yourself is not for everyone. There are many people out there who are happy with their lot in life. And certainly within a working environment every company needs people who can come in of a morning. Do their regular hours and get the job done before going home. This is perfectly acceptable however if you do want to progress then you simply have to challenge the status quo.

Psychologists agree that in order to feel fulfilled in life, you need to experience three things.

•             You must be doing something which challenges you.

•             You must feel interested in the things you do.

•             There needs to be some reward for doing these things.

The problem with most people is they don’t experience all three of these at the same time. When you get stuck in the status quo, you frequently are no longer being challenged. Things might be somewhat interesting, but they’re not exciting. Even if there is a reward in the form of a wages or a stable relationship, losing the other two items do not make up for this.

It’s time to challenge the status quo. How? Follow these five steps.

Quit Doing What Everyone Else Is

Sure, everyone else might be happy and doing a certain thing, but this doesn’t mean you are. People have all kinds of jobs. They’re involved in all kinds of activities. Not all of these are right for you. By focusing less on what everyone does and more on what you want, you will feel much happier.

Stand Out More

Seriously, are you happy playing it safe? Or would you instead take a chance on being seen for who you are, in all of your magnificent, eccentric glory? The beautiful thing about letting go of the idea of fitting in is you no longer are stuck as a follower. It’s a lot more fun being the trendsetter anyway.

You Can’t Buy Happiness

For a lot of us we see money as success. We see so called successful people splashing the cash on stuff! It is therefore easy for us to correlate spending with success. But if we are honest with ourselves buying stuff doesn’t equate to fulfilment. Shopping might give you a temporary high but once the dopamine rush is over it’s really over. There is the famous story which goes something like:

At a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island, Kurt Vonnegut informs his pal, Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 over its whole history.

Heller responds, “Yes, but I have something he will never have — ENOUGH.”

The simple truth is all the new TVs, fancy cars, and exotic vacations in the world are never going to make you feel any more fulfilled. Doing what you hate to get ahead is always going to be a soul-destroying.

Start Trusting Yourself

Sometimes we all need a kick up the backside. Occasionally we need to be prompted to get out and starting doing something. However you still need to be the person delivering because only you can.

If you are honest with yourself you don’t actually need anyone else to tell you what to do. Sometimes you need to trust your instincts, your gut feel and do what feels right to you. Clearly, this has to be legal and without a detrimental impact to others i.e. keep within your society's moral compass. However you will find you’re a lot happier for it.

Take A Chance?

Playing it safe is one of the most significant ways we lock ourselves into the status quo. Unfortunately, this is how you also keep from bettering yourself. If you want your life to change, you’re going to have to take a chance on doing something different.

Now we need to be clear – we are talking about risk and risk management. We are talking about how to become a better version of yourself. For example, leaving your job in the hope that something might come along is not taking a chance in this scenario. Leaving your job to set up a new company with a clear “strategy for success” is a good example of taking a chance.

Sometimes The Challenge Seems Daunting

Challenge Your Inner Critic

“Wisdom starts when you know yourself. You will realise that everything aligns itself perfectly when you live your truth, break limiting habits and challenge yourself daily.” Itayi Garande 

Life can be difficult at times. The last thing you need is your Inner Critic taking control. Why are you doing this? Why are you doing that? You can’t do this etc. It’s obvious at times that your inner voice doesn’t necessarily have your best interests at heart. So, it’s time to challenge your Inner Critic and silence their voice once and for all and develop an attitude.

Here are some tried and tested strategies:

Start Noticing

Inner Critics like to whisper, never to speak out loud. The last thing they want is to be noticed. To counter this you need to paying attention to what’s going on in your head. You need to acknowledge it. Many people find to help articulate it that it helps to write it down.

Give it a Nickname

This sounds a bit weird I know but whenever the Inner Critic speaks up, give it a silly name. You may be aware of the expression “to play the Devil’s advocate”. This is a similar idea. By making fun of this voice, it’s a lot harder to take it seriously.

Give It A Voice?

On a similar idea to the previous technique. More often than not your inner voice says some pretty negative things? So try saying them out loud. By giving voice to these thoughts, you’ll hear just how ridiculous they sound.

Break The Cycle Of Negativity

When you notice it talking at you simply say “stop” and then repeat a positive affirmation such as “I can do this. I am confident. I am worthy, or I am strong.” Which ever works for you. But keep repeating it until the inner voice disappears.

Question Everything

Is there any truth to what your Inner Critic is saying? Examine the statements. Feel free to argue back. Point out the flaws in the reasoning and back it up with examples of times when you’ve proven those things aren’t true.

Replace the Words

Finally, and this is my personal 'go to' approach, drop the negative words entirely and rewrite the script to turn each negative into a positive. For example, saying, “I’m terrible at writing reports” can become “I did a great job on the last report I wrote. I bet this one will be fine too.”

Remember, silencing an Inner Critic is going to take time and energy. This kind of voice doesn’t just shut up because you told them to go away once. No, you’re going to have to work on this consistently, using these strategies, until you’re finally free of the nasty little voice. Once you’ve got it, though? Your world will change enormously in some pretty great ways. After all, without your critic to hold you back, you’re primed for success in a huge way.

The Path Is Not Always Clear

Conclusion

“Be your biggest competitor – challenge yourself each day to be better than you were yesterday.” Kaoru

To explore your dreams and embrace the person you are inside you need to challenge yourself. To be a better person, with a more fulfilling life, you need to find your passion. You need to silence your inner voice to allow yourself to grow. By doing these things you challenge yourself and your status quo. You can be who you truly want to be if you allow yourself to grow – you’ve got this!

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